Not this time........

Great morning,

Although the time has changed, I am feeling really good today. I will adjust my sleep and get back on track but it’s all good. Life is ever changing and we have to hang in there and adjust.

This morning I was thinking, “If you don’t stand up for something you’ll fall for anything”…..

To me this doesn’t mean that you have to be mean. It just means once you have set the standard stand tall, holding your head up high. I have recently found that when I say “No” or question something people have been shutting down on me. No returned calls. No calls period. Now it’s gotten to the point where I could just become bitter. We know that is not even my style but I think I’m just tired and frustrated. I really had to write my feelings out. Last week was emotionally stressful. Sunday was a day of complete rest. I wrote, napped, and read all day long. I got focused and the things that were bothering me were not as serious. I had to come to terms with many things. Just too many things happened at one time. One of the things that really bothered me is the misconception that I want to be single. I enjoy quality time with myself. I am not afraid to be single. It doesn’t make me feel less of a person or that I have failed in life. I like me a lot. With this being said, it doesn’t mean that I do not want companionship. I would love to meet someone that I mesh well with, date for a while, and move on to bigger and better things like marriage and children. That would be great but I will not settle for anything to make that happen. I can’t allow someone to do what they want while I sit unhappy. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt to prove it….. I have stood up for myself and there have been times that I’m no longer a part of that person’s roster. It’s cool because I’m not the one missing out on something great. I also feel that there is no point to getting mad about it. It is what it is. People handle things the way that they feel best. I may not agree with it but I can’t change a person. If you could change a person, don’t you think they would be different by now? I’m sure you are not the first person that has experienced who they are. I just stay quiet. No need to argue. We are just not able to date anymore. I figure if neither of us are willing to try now then we won’t try later. Standing up for yourself can be hard. There are two places that tend to be the hardest. Taking a stand at work and in love seems to be the hardest. I have met people that fear that if they take a stand they will lose what they have. I feel like if you are always unhappy you don’t have anything anyway. You know what, it’s not always the other person that the problem. It can be you. I am always telling people that if someone is doing something that you don’t like how are they supposed to stop if you don’t tell them? It’s not that they are bad. They don’t even know that what they are doing is offending you. We have to find a non-threatening way to let that person know that what they are doing is making you unhappy. My advice is to focus on what you do have. In a job, make that person understand how much you like your current position. How important your job is to you. Do the research and present that information. Employers do not mind hearing how happy you are with your current position. If you have come across someone that has said, “I don’t want you to be happy” please move around because that is a clear indication that you will never be happy. When it comes to matters of the heart things tend to be even stickier. We will tolerate things because there is always a hope that things will change. We say nothing fearing that if the boat is rocked too much we will fall out. On some level, there is a fear of being alone forever. I mean the mind can trick you into believing things that are not true. For every lose the mind says, “See I told you that it wouldn’t work” and we fall for it every time. Then desperation moves in and everything after that is wrong. The puzzle pieces do not fit but we keep pressing trying to make it fit. We attempt to make the puzzle work to the point where we start gnawing at ourselves thinking I can change me so I will and then we will fit. Take your hand right now and bite as hard as you can. Are you smiling? If you are smiling, I know someone you can see about that….. There is a piece out there that fits you. You just have to be patient and not block you blessings trying to fit someone else. Relax. Do some other things. What are your hobbies? What are your other goals? Get into something else to help you with being patient. You may think that it will not work but if I told you that I need you to help me build a house I doubt you will have a lot of time to focus on other things. Allow all other people that do not fit to leave. Most times, they come into our lives to show and teach us something that we need to know for the future. Do not put up with unnecessary drama. Take a stand…. Do not stomp, just stand. I’m sure the other person has already taken a stand. We probably didn’t notice it because it wasn’t a big show. Compromise is a good thing. It’s when two parties come to a mutual agreement on a subject. Conforming is not good. When you go along with whatever the other person wants to make sure that they are happy you are actually abusing yourself. We should always look at ourselves to make sure that we are still in good standing with ourselves. It’s not that hard….. How happy are you right now?

Today think about what you want out of life. It will be easier to take a stand if you know what you are standing for.

AND remember be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind……

*smile*

MAKE IT GREAT!

E