That ain't grass....that's dirt.

Good afternoon,

“The grass is always greener on the other side”……

I know that you have heard this one before. It’s the idea that someone is looking at someone else’s situation, seeing all of the positives, and magnifying all of the negatives in their own situation. What we have to become conscious of is that we don’t know what it’s taking to make that situation look that way. Are they working as team to make it look effortless? Are they fronting and putting on airs to make it appear as if everything is on the up and up? Could it be the same grass as yours but since it’s not yours, it looks better? There are times that we are soooo busy looking at other people’s grass that it to be so much greener than ours. The real deal is that the focus is on the wrong yard. When we pay attention to other people’s lives, we neglect our own….therefore giving the perception that the other persons’ life is so much nicer. Tend to your own grass. Do some research, ask some questions, and find a way to make your life better. Heck if you want you can always ask your neighbor for tips. The resources are out there to make your life the exact way you want it to look. You have to remember that not everyone’s life will look the same. That’s not how the world is designed. If everything were supposed to be the same then I wouldn’t even be writing this post because we would all be the same. There would be no need to vent, encourage, or remind because we would all be programmed the same. Since we are not, get to know your own situation. Learn what works and what doesn’t. Put in the work in your own yard and you may just find that you already have yard of the month!

AND remember we don’t see things as they are….we see them as we are.

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

Taking the chit with the sugar.....

Good afternoon,

“For better or for worse”…. Those are the realest words ever spoken but yet we tend to think “For better or better”. When the poo hits the fan, many people will abort the mission (or at least contemplate it). They are in the vows for a reason. You are making a promise that when life gets hard (because it will) you will be a ride or die partner. Marriage (and relationships period) is a commitment that each of you have decided to take that you will do what needs to be done to keep the ship running smoothly. Some people work really hard to get into a marriage/relationship and then sit down thinking the ship will sail itself. That’s not how it works. You have to constantly check on the ship, the weather, and the crew. When something goes wrong address it and see what needs to be done to get it on track again. You see…. I am amazed at how people will bust their hump at work under the worse conditions but they won’t do it for their significant other. There is something in the brain that says “YOU NEED THIS JOB” but not “YOU NEED YOUR PARTNER”. It’s crazy. I know people who have gone into a marriage and/or relationship with a “Fail plan” but they don’t do it for their jobs. *insert side eye* The plan should be that when “worse” comes you are prepared to put in the work. Oh and worse is exactly what it means….WORSE. It doesn’t mean not as good as good but still good…o_O. It could be a range from “That’s not good” to “Oh snap the ship is going down!!!!” but realize this is what you signed up for when you made that promise. You remember….the day you stood G’d up in front of a person of the cloth and all of your family stating to the world and GOD that this is your chosen person. Yeah…that day….It was a great day right? Well now that day is over you have to go work on maintaining that promise that you made to each other.  Marriages/relationships die because one (or both) person decides that they no longer want to work. It’s as simple as that. Now the ways they go about doing it are endless. The point is every day that you are in that marriage/relationship you have to decide that TODAY you are still going to be committed. Know that you are both going to *singing* make it last forever….. The truth is that we all have to be able to take the chit with the sugar. It doesn’t matter how times you change partners, there will always be a for better or for worse so don’t be scared to give love that old college try. You just have to do your part and commit to the one that will (and has) stand with you in the storms of life.

And remember a commitment requires two brave people who are ready to sacrifice anything for one another.

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

Crying over spilt milk.......

Good afternoon,

Have you ever heard of the saying, “It’s no use in crying over spilt milk”? It means that when we make a mistake there is no use crying or complaining about it. Clean it up and keep it moving. You can’t unspill it so you just have to be careful the next time. Now we are human so we will be hurt and may even need to vent about it and that’s perfectly ok. What we shouldn’t do is live in the mess. Clean yourself up. Figure what happened and make the necessary adjustments. There is more milk to have. What I don’t get is that when other people make mistakes we will encourage them but when we make a mistake we are soooo hard on ourselves to the point where we are like, “I’m never doing that again”. It’s crazy to me especially when you know you want it. It’s ok if it didn’t work out the first time. I mean really…. even GOD started over. There was so much wickedness in the world that he came up with a new plan and just Etcha Sketch’d us. HE never gives up on us and even though we are created in his image, we do not follow HIS example. If life has pee’d in your cheerios just get another bowl. Like GOD, when we try any situation you go in with the expectation to win. If you don’t then you try again but with a different plan. PLUS, if you stumble at least you have something to reference so that you don’t make the mistake again. You didn’t have that the first time. Don’t let your hurt block your path to happiness.

AND remember when disappointment or rejection knocks you down, get up and go again, because out of the greatest rejection comes the greatest direction.

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

The game of love......

Good afternoon,

Some days I think the gerbil that keeps my mind running is going to Shawshank Redemption me……

Today I know I’ve had about a hundred thoughts on love alone. How do I love? Do I pay attention to how other people receive love? Do my friends and family feel love from me? Is there a difference between choosing to love and being in love? These are just a few of the questions that I have been pondering today. I personally feel that you can love someone and choose not to open yourself to a deeper love. Someone once told me that Love is a choice. I somewhat agree. I believe that you can have feelings for someone and you choose to open yourself and allow those feelings to grow. I feel that the problem with love is that most people do not take the time out to understand it. Love is like the NFL. The entire league is called “National Football League. Then it’s broken down into two conferences (NFC and AFC). Under those conferences are sixteen teams. These teams have their own names, colors and players. Love is the umbrella. I’ve read there are 4 types of love (Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape). Then under each of those four types, each person will receive love a different way.  Love like football, is not for the faint of heart. The both require dedication, talent, and know how. Therefore, if you are not willing to put the time in and work on it you will lose every time.  Doing nothing or being scared has never has never won the Superbowl. Take a chance and do the proper research. If you don’t win the first time around there is always next season. I’ll never give up on love. I’m a winner!

AND remember winners find a way…..losers find an excuse.

MAKE IT GREAT!  

E

What you know about Joe?

Good morning,

Sooooooooo, I have been thinking about Joseph a lot lately.

You know Joseph right? The one where his brothers were hating, threw him in a hole, rescued him just to sell him into slavery, then was lied on by a women resulting in him being thrown into jail, and promised to be taken care of but almost forgotten. Do you know who I’m talking about now? What’s so crazy about it is that Joseph had a vision that he would be a very important person before all of this took place. It wasn’t as if he was in a bad place in life. Actually came from a hard working family. The reason I love this story so much is because, Joseph was made a promise but had to go through the fire before he could get to the greatness. I tell people all the time, “Sometimes you have to be put in the fire to burn off the old so you can live in the new”. Like Joseph, we know that we are destined for greatness but there are times where it feels like with every step forward you take five steps back. Joseph didn’t understand why all of these things were happening to him. He didn’t understand how he would be great from jail. Well I’m here to tell you that you have to keep moving forward. The promise is there you just have to hang in there to get it. Life doesn’t work on our time. Therefore, you can either wait patiently or keep forcing that square peg into that round hole. The choice is yours. We also have to dance during the storms of life. They are not there to keep you down. Life storms happen to give you the experience you need so that you may move on and serve your life’s purpose. Find the lesson in everything that happens to you. You may need to help someone later with the very experience you had. Now if you don’t get that lesson because you are in your feelings then GOD has no problem re-teaching you. (Let that sink in) I believe that we let the storms drench us and we live in the wetness….unhappy…..but every storm must come to an end and if we know this then we must hunker down and feel blessed that through it all we have been provided for. Get out of your own way and count the blessings that you have right now. We are built for greatness and we will have to endure some things to be prepared to handle that greatness. Pay attention really quick…. Joseph was sold into slavery and eventually became head of his boss’ household. Then he had the misfortune of being lied on and put in jail. In jail, he was placed in charge of the other inmates. While in charge, he was able to help interpret some dreams of an inmate. Due to that inmate, Joseph was summoned to interpret the dreams of the Pharaoh. He did and the Pharaoh appointed Joseph to Vizier. HE WAS IN CHARGE OF ALL OF EGYPT!!!!! If that’s not greatness, I don’t know what it is. Although his circumstances were not favorable, they were important to get to the necessary people that will lead him to the greatness that was promised in the first place.  Like Drake says, “Started from the bottom now we here”. In school, on the job, and in relationships you had to start somewhere to move to a higher position. Well there will be some bumps along the road. If you are in a funk now, you are crossing the bump. If you are in a good place in life then you are in-between bumps. Whatever storm you are in make the best of it. Shine even when it feels like you can’t go on. The only thing that can hold you back from greatness is you.  If you are reading this, you are still in the game so play as if you are going to win it all.

I hope that when you are feeling down and out you think about Joseph. He didn’t deserve the bad things that happened to him but it made him better in the end. Stay strong. Live, Love, and laugh!

AND remember don’t dwell in the misfortunes of yesterday. Be grateful for the power of today!

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

Poppin' that hotness......

Good afternoon,

The Gerbil in my head is running…….

You know how I am about hearing things in 3’s. This time the topic is communication.

There is a saying that goes, “Closed mouths don’t get fed”. I know I have stated this several times, because as you know I am super big on communication. I cannot give you what you want or stop doing what is annoying you if you don’t say anything. I understand that some people keep things to themselves because they are afraid of what the response might be. This is a sure fire way to keep yourself in a constant state of turmoil. BE HONEST. Be aware of who you are and what you want. Now the person you are speaking to may not always agree but they will always know where you stand. I believe that when you are honest with your communication, it builds a form of trust. You know that you will get the unfiltered version of someone’s thoughts. The problem is that with honesty you have to be able to take the chit with the sugar….. It’s not always going to go your way or sound the way that you would like it to BUT there is a chance that you will be able to come to some sort of compromise/understanding. I have recently had a long conversation about this. In my marriage, I feel that if he would have just told me what he wanted, I could have at least worked on it. Not to say that I would have been perfect at fixing the problem. The point is that I am given the opportunity to make corrections. Instead, we didn’t talk. I was always in my head attempting to figure out what to do. The gerbil running was so tired….. Now, if you can’t tell me what you want I will not waste much time attempting to figure out what's going on in your head. You can even tell me you are not sure what it is. I at least know that we can work on figuring out together so that we can correct it. I make it very clear that I may not always like what you say but we can break it down to get to the root of it. Now I know that tact is very important and I work hard on this because I can be blunt and I do not want anyone throwing up their defenses and we getting nowhere. The goal is to be happy. Sooooo with all of that being said unless you are one of Dionne Warwick’s psychic friends’ then you will need to bump your gums a little bit to inform the other person of what your needs are at the moment.

AND remember to tell people how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regrets can last a lifetime…..

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

Relax.....it's just ladybugs......

Good afternoon,

One of my favorite movies is "Under the Tuscan Sun". In the movie Katherine says, "Listen, when I was a little girl I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I'd just give up and fall asleep in the grass. When I woke up, they were crawling all over me." I love this quote because it means we should just chill out and things will come to you when it's time. There is a plan for all of us and in order for it happen, when it's supposed to, we have to get out of the way. Patience is the key. It's also something that we do not practice enough. We tend to put all of these time constraints on ourselves and end up making poor decisions because we feel like we're running out of time. Enjoy your life, do your part, and don't worry about the rest. It's not like worrying ever made things move faster.....

And remember patience is the key to success, wisdom is knowing that success doesn’t happen overnight.

MAKE IT GREAT!

E