Great Expectations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good morning,

HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE!!!!!!!

I have been thinking about this past year and for me it’s been pretty good. I have spent time with the people that love me. I am blessed just to have them in my life. I have been able to do things that I never thought I would be able to do. I have accomplished several things that I wanted to do. My highs have outweighed my lows so what more could a girl ask for? I do not have much to complain about in my life. The things that do bother me I meditate on to stay focused because I know that it will all change. It always does. Anywhoo…. I was thinking about New Year’s resolutions. For the last couple of years my resolution has been to be happy. Now that may not seem like a big deal but think about all of the mini storms that you go through and have to fight to get back to happy. This year my resolution will be to continue to be happy all the time AND to spread more JOY.  Lately, I have been talking about how we have to be the change we want to see in the world. I know that may seem like a lot because the world is big. I know I always think, “How can I change the whole world?” and I never have an answer. Well, back to my movie of the week….. In Facing the Giants the coach tells his team, “Nehemiah had the task of building a stone wall around his city for protection but he didn’t have enough people, resources, or time…. but because each person worked on the stone wall that was in front of their house they got it done in record time.” That is what we have to do. We can be better if we work on everything around us. From your home to your job I need you to spread joy and encouragement so that no one ever feels alone or unworthy. Everything that is happening to this world is a cry for help and it’s up to us to listen. There are many flags that we ignore and then we pop off when something happens. Well….. What do you expect????? We need to focus on the stones right in front of us and then make it mandatory that whomever we are helping pass it on to the next. There will be no point in just taking care of you and your family because the pain is coming from outside sources. We should expect better and then take the time to influence others to be the same. So…… in 2013 let's make an effort to be happier and spread JOY. I have learned that if you see people that never speak just keep saying “Good morning” and eventually they will say it back. I expect you to be happy and you should always expect me to smile and speak to you. Let’s be great this year!

I hope that every one of you have an awesome 2012 close and a super awesome 2013 beginning!!!!!!

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

Facing the Giants......

Good morning all,

Last night I fell asleep on the couch (not uncommon) while watching Ghostbusters. I woke up to this movie called “Facing the Giants”. Normally I just get up and go to bed but I couldn’t move because of what one of the actors was saying. This older gentleman walked in to this coach’s office, read him a scripture from the Bible, and then walked out. Well the coach followed him and asked him if he really thought that GOD was not through with him. The man said yes. The coach said he had been praying but wasn’t sure if he was being heard. The man then said, “There were two farmers that prayed for rain but only one went out and prepared his field for rain….who do you think got the rain?”……

That was so powerful to me. GOD does things on his own time. If we are not prepared then we shouldn’t blame him. If you pray then you shouldn’t worry you should get ready. Why pray if you do not believe that GOD will make it happen? It’s because doubt creeps in and tells you that “it” may not happen….and you believe it. I have doubts but as soon as they creep in, I instantly start speaking all of the positive words I can think of. I also tell my doubt why I don’t believe it. It slowly slinks away….

When you have doubt, it will keep you from moving towards any goal that you desire. One of the players (a captain) on the team kept verbalizing his doubts about the team being able to win. So, the coach told him to the “Death Crawl”. For those who do not know what the “Death Crawl” is (I know I didn’t) it’s when two players are back to back but one of them is on all fours and the other player is holding on to the shoulder pads with his legs bent in the air. The player has to crawl on his hands and feet while carrying the other player…..OUCH! The coach told him to crawl from the end zone to the 50-yard line and then he put a blind fold on the player. The player said that he could not do it and coach told him he could. So, he started and after a while, the player started to complain about how it hurt and his arms are burning. The coach kept telling him that he could do it and to give him a little more. The player asked if he had made it to the 20-yard line but the coach kept yelling at him to keep going. The player kept saying that he wasn’t going to make it and the coach kept saying not to give up on him. Towards the end, the coach told him to give him a few more steps and then he started counting down the last steps and encouraging him. When the player made it to the last step he collapsed. The coach took of the blind fold and showed him that he had made it into the other end zone. The coach told him that he just carried a 140-pound man across a field. The player that had been carried corrected the coach by saying that he was 160 lbs. The coach just looked at the collapsed player and asked him if he was with him and the player said yes.

The point of all of this is that life is going to be heavy but we have to keep pushing. There will be times of pain and burning but if, you have blind Faith you can do anything! Nothing can hold you back but yourself. You never really know how strong you are until you are put into an uncomfortable position. You have to keep pushing through. That is why We Walk By Faith and not by Sight. You can’t always believe what the world is showing you because it can all change in the blink of an eye. When we allow people and society to place labels on us we are holding ourselves back from greatness. A label puts you in a box and that’s not how life works. You have to live the life that was provided for you. You will not always be able to fit into a box. When you are attempting to fit into something that is not for you it becomes uncomfortable. It’s like ill-fitting clothes. Find what works for you and keep moving! You can do more with Faith than you will ever be able to do with doubt.

Tell me what is impossible if you have GOD on your side?

Today tell your doubt that you are done. You are more than a conqueror and you are going to keep moving forward no matter what. If you keep going, GOD will keep providing a path. Stay strong and stay focused. I believe in you and I know you can do it!

AND remember if you don’t give up on GOD he won’t give up on you!

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

So whatcha gon' do?

Good morning,

You know……. It’s very hard for me to be nice to people that intentionally do things to push other’s buttons. I really have to focus on my positive to keep from falling into the pool of negativity with them.  I mean seriously, what gratification do they get in that?  It’s not as if they hurt someone and then they feel better. I think the real problem is that they are already unhappy and fear that the other person is happy without them. Stings…… People claim that they want to be happy but hurting others will not get them to where they want to be. It amazes me that instead of finding their own Joy some people will take every opportunity to bring someone else down…….

“You can catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar”. Do you know what this means? The flies represent the things that you want in life. By using “Honey” (a.k.a Positivity), you will be able to achieve whatever you desire. People are always attracted to the happier things in life even if they are not in a happier space. When you use “Vinegar” (a.k.a Negativity), it only curls up your face and is displeasing to others…… It’s up to you on how you want your life to be. The person that you are hurting now will move on and you will be left with your anger and hurt. Is that what you really want?

Do you want to be in a happier place? Be nice. Work it out so that you have a working relationship that benefits all involved. When you let go of past pains and anger you will find that you are more open to receive the good that life has in store for you. If you do not believe me, then just keep on being mean…… you will only view life in the negative and miss your blessings. I am here to encourage you to be better because I know first-hand that if you exude positivity it will come back to you. In addition, being mean does not draw people closer to you. I will never stop encouraging us to be better. If you are lashing out at people, please stop. It’s not worth it. You are hurting you more than you are actually hurting that other person. When they are gone, you will still have nothing. For the people are being hurt by others stop giving them your power. They should be non-mofo factors to you. They do those things because they know that it will get to you. Stop. If you are having a hard time with it then fake it until you make it. Do not respond to their antics. They are just trying to draw you into their pool of negativity. It’s like crabs in a barrel…. If they are not able to reach JOY status then you won’t either. You have to be stronger and know that you can do anything that you set your mind to do.

We all have to learn to be more positive. We always complain how the world is in bad shape well…….complaining about will not make it any better. Stand up and be present in the future happiness of our world. If you a see a fellow person in pain, share some encouraging words with them. Smile at people you do not know. Say, “Good morning” to everyone you see. You never know how a few words could change someone’s day. I was at Starbuck’s in the mall and the line was super long. Well, when it was my turn the barista said, “Good morning, how are you doing today?” I replied, “I’m doing well, how are you doing this morning?” She looked at me stunned and kinda stumbled over her words saying, “I’m…good”. I asked her if she was ok and she said, “Yes, it’s just rare that someone asks me how I’m doing”. She smiled. I told her to have an awesome day and I went on my way. Even if that smile didn’t last all day at that moment, I added some JOY to her day. When we take the time to add JOY to life, it lessens any negativity that may be brewing and even make someone’s day a little easier.

We have to be the change we want to see…………..

AND remember if you are too afraid of being hurt then you will never be able to experience happiness.

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

Love the way you love me.............

Good afternoon,

Have you read the 5 Love Languages?

I have written about this before and I now I feel the need to talk about it again…… because……I can….lol…

ANYWHOO………. Everyone has a main love language. It’s the way that person receives love. Most people show love in the way that they receive love. Now this is great when the other persons’ love language is the same. When it’s not the same, there is a great chance that you will not receive the reaction that you hoped. It doesn’t mean that what you are doing is not appreciated; it’s just not that person’s primary love language.

The 5 Love Languages are (in no particular order)

1.)   Words of Affirmation

2.)  Acts of Service

3.)   Receiving Gifts

4.)  Quality Time

5.)   Physical Touch

Your love language is developed from the environment that you were raised. We all have a little of all of these inside of us but there is one that will stand out from the rest. For me my main love language is “Quality Time”. Growing up my mom was always sick. We didn’t do what other families did. There were not a lot of outside activities because the depending on the weather we could end up in the emergency room. Therefore, we spent time together doing things in the house. We watched cartoons together (the saying in my family is that my mother only had a child so that no one would talk about her for loving cartoons….lol), we played board games, art and crafts, cooking, and anything else we wanted to do. We didn’t have much money but we still had a great time anyway. Now as an adult, I require that a man will create “Quality Time” for us. With me, you never want to squeeze me in too many times because after a while I will feel that you are not interested and I will move around. I believe in the saying, “You make time for the things you want to make time for” and if it’s not me, I will leave. No hard feelings…… The love language that comes in second is “Physical touch”. Now this one can be a little tricky. I do not like a man to drape his body over me at all times or to be pulled and tugged on…. I do enjoy cuddling and light touches. I come from a family of huggers. I like to be near someone but there are times that I like to sit by myself. I am a cat….I will snuggle, move away, only to return shortly for a little more affection. I feel loved when I am hugged or kissed……randomly….lol. I wrote about this in “The truth about cats and dogs”. As for the other three languages, they are important but just not at the top. I get pleasure from someone giving me compliments. Couple that with a hug and kiss on the forehead and I feel like gold…. I probably shouldn’t be telling you guys this but how can you make me happy if you don’t know…. I like “Gifts” but some level it makes me slightly uncomfortable. If I had a choice between gifts and quality time, the quality time will win every time. Don’t get me wrong I am so appreciative when someone makes the decision to spend their money on me. It’s a very thoughtful gesture. The last one is “Acts of Service is really hard unless it’s the trash. I hate taking out the trash so anyone that does that for me has just made my day. Other than that, I have this “I can do it myself” attitude. It’s bad and I need to work on that. When people inform me that they know how to do something my first instinct is to say that I can do it also. I do not catch the clue that someone is volunteering their services. It’s best if they just come straight out and say, “Hey I can do that for you”. I know that this reaction comes from certain people telling me what I “can’t” do in the past because I am a female. It also has to do with feeling like a charity case as a child but I have gotten over that because I understand that family takes care of family. I can do anything I put my mind to but I do need to work on allowing others to help me.

The point of all of this is that when showing love be sure that you are doing it in way that person will best accept it. Using the correct love language will end up as a win, win because they will love it and you will receive the appreciation that you deserve.  If both people are fulfilled it can make for a wonderful relationship. We are not all the same so we should take the time to figure what makes that person feel loved.

If you do not know your love language, click the link below and take the test. It is free!

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

If you would like to learn more about the love languages you can also but one of the many books.

The books are easy reads and will enlighten you on how to love the love of your life!

AND remember one of the most important things in life is how to show love and how to let it come in……

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

To tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth....

Good afternoon,

So, the questions are…..

“Do you really know who you are?”

“Do you really know what you want?”

“Are you willing to acknowledge the things that you are afraid of?”

There comes a time in your life where you will have to face your fears. Many times, you will find that your fear was unnecessary because in the end everything worked out just fine. Even if the outcome was not what you expected you when you think back it needed to end up like that so you could get to where you are now. I think the actual thought of the unknown pain is the actual fear. We have to believe that whatever it is that we will face we can get through. The mind is so powerful and we have to learn how to be in control of it. If not it will run you ragged.

I guess I will be a little vulnerable today. I mean most of you already think I am currently going through whatever I say anyway…..lol. I have a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. I don’t obsess about it because there is no indication that this will happen but being that I am 35 I’m not going to say that it doesn’t cross my mind. I don’t tell anyone these things because first of all, I am the only one that can make these thoughts go away and secondly I don’t want to hear any variations of “Oh girl it will be ok”. I understand that my family and friends care about me but that’s not really an answer. Anywhoo….. I will tell you how I control the fear. First, as I said earlier nothing has indicated that I will be alone. I am single now but that doesn’t mean that it will always be this way. Therefore, I need not trip about it.  I also tell myself that I could have still been married and since that is not what made me happy so I really can’t complain. Then I think about all of the men that I dated that I could have still been with and some I could still call but if I didn’t want them then why would I think that would make me happy now. So, really being alone is self imposed…..Hmmmm…. yeah think about it. Instead of focusing on what I think I do not have I focus on what I do have. I have a great life. I have family and friends that love me unconditionally. I have the freedom to do as I please. That means that I am in control of my own happiness. Focusing on this one little thing of being single is not adding to my happiness so I don’t. Finally, I am not alone because I date. I am alone when I want to be alone. I like that it’s easy and I am able to have a good time. There are no strings attached. When I decide that I want to go out (or if I am asked), I go not because I get a chance to be out but because I want to be out. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the institution of marriage and potentially coming home to someone I love but for me there is nothing like coming home to an empty house to do as I please. I have told you before that marriage is the hardest BEST job you will ever have but if you have the opportunity to not be on the clock take it! Fact is that when I do get married again he has to have a life of his own. We cannot be under each other every second of the day. I require Erica time. That is just me. I enjoy my quality time with myself.  I like that I can have cereal and then read a book until I fall asleep with no interruptions. Oh yeah! Sooooooooooo, when the “fear” creeps up on me, I am prepared to shut it down because I know that it’s a lie. Truth is I am blessed to have all of the experiences I’ve had because it will only make me better in the long run.

Find ways to destroy your fears with the truth….. The sooner you do the freer you will feel.

AND remember death kills you once….fear kills you repeatedly……

MAKE IT GREAT

E

Thank you.

Good afternoon,

I have many feelings today but the one that I would like to address is “Appreciation”…..

I am so thankful for all I have. I can only hope that the people I love know how much I appreciate them. I hope that I am able to show them the appreciation I have for them. I always think to myself, “It doesn’t have to be as good as it is right now so I should be happy” and I am. I have seen situations where people have it good but hold back from being happy waiting for the other shoe to drop. What if there is no other shoe to drop? What if both shoes are on securely? Waiting for the poo to hit the fan is not the way to be happy. Enjoy every moment that you have. Life is meant to enjoy and if you are spending it thinking about what could go wrong then you are wasting time. It may even end up that you ruin what you have because you are wrapped up in thinking about the end. Don’t manifest those things in your life. Really, why are you so worried anyway…. It’s not like if you make a decision and it turns out not to be right you will not be able to get out of it. Not taking any steps to possible happiness does not mean that you have dodged a bullet….it just means that you have blocked the experience. So, count it all JOY. Be grateful for all that you have. Be sure to let your loved ones know how much they mean to you. Be sure to say thank you every time you think about something someone has done for you. Give back when you can. Spread Joy and Love.

AND remember it’s your life so don’t mess it up.

MAKE IT GREAT!   

E

Oh, you boo'd up?

Good morning,

I was sitting and discussing why some people deal with other people hoping for a relationship and one of them said, “Someone will give you just enough to keep you hanging on”. We said that we stay hanging on because….. and we all said at the same time “Potential”. We give people potential to do things when they are showing no signs of making that happen. Think about it…. When someone wants something, they will take the steps to make that happen. There are times we want something sooooo bad that we will stay in the state of denial of what’s really going on around us. Then we have the audacity to be hurt when things never happen. All of the signs were there. It’s not like on Monday it was all gravy and on Tuesday it fell apart. Most times, they have already given a reason that it may not happen. We of course choose to ignore that. Excuses are made for the things that hurt our feelings because no one is perfect and “potentially” they have what we want.  So instead of letting go we stay around allowing that person the string us along….. They are not bad people but if you can get what you want without having to make any commitments then why not. You may feel like, “well I wouldn’t do that” but in actuality you have done it before. The one person that you were not really feeling but you kept them around for when you get bored. Remember them? Oh, it’s not the same because you didn’t go out with them.... Well you are not thinking of their feelings. Is it partly their fault for hanging around yes…. Just like it’s our fault for hanging on to someone that obviously does not want the same thing that we want. So….what do you do when you find yourself in this situation? I did some research and mostly it said to leave them alone or start dating others to take the thirst away…..lol. The point is…..If someone really wants to be with you then they will. If they are putting you off for some semi promised future relationship then start dating other people. Don’t miss out on a “potential” blessing waiting on….ummm… something. You are not committed or exclusively dating so date. You never know, you may come across that person that will appreciate what you have to give and find yourself in the situation you wanted all along……

AND remember let the continued growth in actions show potential………..

MAKE IT GREAT!

E

Wake up call!!!!!

Good morning,

So, I was thinking about all of the things take have been taking place in our world today and it was making me sad. We have people killing one another or killing themselves. I was telling someone that we all need to check in more with the people in our lives. I mean it can look as if a person has it all together but you never know what is happening on the inside. I know that I may not be able to change how someone feels about the world but I can be a support system in their lives so that they know that they are never alone. I want them to know that I accept them for who they are and there is no need to put on airs for me. Let's stand back to back so that you know that I have your back and will never let you fall. There will come a time that you will need to be vulnerable with someone and you need to already have that person in your corner. When you do not have someone, it will be harder to find them when you are going through it. If you do not need someone right now, it doesn't mean that someone doesn't need you. Let's be accountable for each other so that we can be the change we want see in our world. I am feeling really random with my thoughts right now.....but we need to stand up for what we are really here for. We are not here to worship material things. We are not here to live according to the rules of society. We are here to serve and right now, we are lacking. People are hurting internally and we need to take notice....Please do not think that you have to do it alone. If you stand and I stand, you are not alone. The word says, "For where two or three gather in my name....there I am".....but "We" have to gather..... Please let's work on saving our people. It’s up to us. Call, text, e-mail, or go see someone just to make sure they are in a good space. Then follow up. I know that we get busy with our lives but we need to put in our phones are calendar to stop and take a few minutes to brighten someone’s day. If we can make time for the foolishness then we can make time to stay in touch. Life is a gift and sometimes people are not able to recognize it. We have to be a reminder so that everyone is able to enjoy the blessing. Today reach out….tomorrow reach out…..continuously reach out. Love will save us all.

AND remember when you are in the midst of the storm it’s hard to see the sunshine, but an outreached hand can help bring you into the light. Take the hand.

MAKE IT GREAT!

E