You can't talk to me like that!

Serene Morning,

There are so many things I want to say but I’m having trouble completing the thought. Grrrrrr……lol

I believe the common thing in all of these thoughts is communication. The use of communication is very essential in our everyday life. Customer Service, Interviewing, and relationships (all kinds) are just a few situations were communication is important.

Yesterday I needed to vent and when I was done speaking to the person I felt worse because I really didn’t want to have to defend my thoughts and feelings. I just wanted to get some things off my chest. That led me back to my thought that I shouldn’t share. I should just work it out myself and that be that. I realized that would not be a great idea because some things you just need to release. When you don’t release, it just builds up on the inside. I wrote it out but it just wasn’t enough. I prayed about it but I just couldn’t let it go. I’m human. I believe the real problem is that I did not effectively communicate the problem to the person that I was in the vent. Now I’m wondering if it’s too late to address it again. I mean you don’t want to keep bringing things up repeatedly. For me I like to talk about it, work it out, and move on. I do not desire to waste any time thinking about and wondering. I have a great life that deserves my full attention.

Do you know that silence is a form of communication? Silence says so many things because it’s left up to the other person to figure what you may be thinking. Now the other person has two options. They can assume and create in their mind what you might be thinking OR they can just ask. Most of the time people will assume. L It makes sense to ask but pride always seems to get in the way. So then you assume something and it’s never positive because who thinks in the positive? Then you end up angrier than before because of YOU! The other person has said nothing but you have created this monster. Now you must calm down. You can project this monster that you have created on to this other person especially when you want to address the situation. Stay calm and address the first thing that happened. Ask for clarification. Then allow them to talk. Say nothing until they are finished. If you have any questions then feel free to ask. Once the conversation is done let it go.

The last thing I want to address is TONE and DELIVERY. There are times that what you are saying is fine it’s just your tone that makes the other person get defensive. If I’m feeling some sort of way I attempt to take a deep breath before I speak to release some of that pressure. Bring it down and octave before speaking. When a person puts up their wall to defend themselves you might as well just shut it down. You are going to get nothing. The calmer you are the more willing the other person will be.

Delivery….. I have research this so many times. Delivery can be like coming after a person with a knife or a hug.

Knife: Most of the time starts with “YOU”. EX: You use to buy me flowers and now you don’t.

Hug: EX: When you send me flowers, it makes me feel special that you are thinking about me.

Obviously, the other person knows that have not been sending flowers so there is no need to tell them that. Tell them how it made you feel and it will encourage the other person to want to do it again.

Communication is super essential to your life. You should constantly work on being a better communicator. You never know what will happen when you do.

Thank you for allowing me to vent and be random with you….. J

I hope that you have a wonderful day!

AND remember communication works best for those that work at it.

MAKE IT GREAT!

E