Good afternoon,
So, the questions are…..
“Do you really know who you are?”
“Do you really know what you want?”
“Are you willing to acknowledge the things that you are afraid of?”
There comes a time in your life where you will have to face your fears. Many times, you will find that your fear was unnecessary because in the end everything worked out just fine. Even if the outcome was not what you expected you when you think back it needed to end up like that so you could get to where you are now. I think the actual thought of the unknown pain is the actual fear. We have to believe that whatever it is that we will face we can get through. The mind is so powerful and we have to learn how to be in control of it. If not it will run you ragged.
I guess I will be a little vulnerable today. I mean most of you already think I am currently going through whatever I say anyway…..lol. I have a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. I don’t obsess about it because there is no indication that this will happen but being that I am 35 I’m not going to say that it doesn’t cross my mind. I don’t tell anyone these things because first of all, I am the only one that can make these thoughts go away and secondly I don’t want to hear any variations of “Oh girl it will be ok”. I understand that my family and friends care about me but that’s not really an answer. Anywhoo….. I will tell you how I control the fear. First, as I said earlier nothing has indicated that I will be alone. I am single now but that doesn’t mean that it will always be this way. Therefore, I need not trip about it. I also tell myself that I could have still been married and since that is not what made me happy so I really can’t complain. Then I think about all of the men that I dated that I could have still been with and some I could still call but if I didn’t want them then why would I think that would make me happy now. So, really being alone is self imposed…..Hmmmm…. yeah think about it. Instead of focusing on what I think I do not have I focus on what I do have. I have a great life. I have family and friends that love me unconditionally. I have the freedom to do as I please. That means that I am in control of my own happiness. Focusing on this one little thing of being single is not adding to my happiness so I don’t. Finally, I am not alone because I date. I am alone when I want to be alone. I like that it’s easy and I am able to have a good time. There are no strings attached. When I decide that I want to go out (or if I am asked), I go not because I get a chance to be out but because I want to be out. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the institution of marriage and potentially coming home to someone I love but for me there is nothing like coming home to an empty house to do as I please. I have told you before that marriage is the hardest BEST job you will ever have but if you have the opportunity to not be on the clock take it! Fact is that when I do get married again he has to have a life of his own. We cannot be under each other every second of the day. I require Erica time. That is just me. I enjoy my quality time with myself. I like that I can have cereal and then read a book until I fall asleep with no interruptions. Oh yeah! Sooooooooooo, when the “fear” creeps up on me, I am prepared to shut it down because I know that it’s a lie. Truth is I am blessed to have all of the experiences I’ve had because it will only make me better in the long run.
Find ways to destroy your fears with the truth….. The sooner you do the freer you will feel.
AND remember death kills you once….fear kills you repeatedly……
MAKE IT GREAT
E
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