Scared of Lonely

I am a Beyonce fan.  I’m sure that most of you already know this.  She has a song on her “I am……Sasha Fierce” album called “Scared of Lonely”.  It is a song about fighting the lonely that is creeping in on her because her man is not with her.  I LOVE this song.  Not because she is feeling lonely and not because she’s missing a man.  I love this song because to me loneliness is something that we have all have to deal with at one time or another.  We are highly emotional beings and loneliness attempts to creep on in with a man, without a man, and when we are by ourselves for long periods of time…..

As the song goes on it builds and she is really fighting the feeling of loneliness.  Which brings me to what I really want to address and that is Self-Esteem.  SELF-ESTEEM is the confidence, appreciation, and respect that one has for oneself.  I know that you some of you are saying “Ok….I know this already” but I think it is something that we misplace from time to time.  We let life and other people creep in and shuffle what we think about ourselves.  Well now it’s time that we get that part straight and the rest will fall into place.  You are a GEM. You are a wonderful person that deserves only the best.  I know (not think) this because GOD made you in His image. Do you think that God just thinks that He is “ok” so He made us just “ok”? NO, silly He created you in HIS image so that you will be able to see how great you are. God doesn’t make mistakes.  He made you the way that you are for a reason.  Once you realize that you are created for greatness you can exude that greatness to others making a better world with better people.

To begin the process of having a high self-esteem for you is to make a list of the things that you don’t like about you and your life.  Then in another column write all of the things that you do like about you and life.  Take ALL of the negative things and give them to God.  All of the negative feelings, fears, and thoughts give them to HIM and let it go.  This process may not be easy but I PROMISE that this works. Then begin to think about all the things that GOD has placed in your life: The talents that HE has given you; the friends and family that love and respect you; the good qualities that draws people to you.  Once you read that STOP what you are doing and say “THANK YOU GOD”.  You have to thank Him because your life doesn’t have to be as good as it is now.  You literally drive yourself insane with things that can be fixed and not focus on the things that are a positive permanent fixture in your life.  You can start small if you feel this is too hard or hard to believe.  When you wake up give thanks.  Waking up is optional.  There is nothing anywhere that states that you have to wake up every day. You wake up because your job on earth is not done.  Once you are up start praying for the things that you are grateful for.  Then smile. Smile to yourself in the mirror.  Heck, flirt with yourself.  Put on something nice.  Enhance what GOD gave you.  Spray on some perfume.  Pretend that you are going somewhere special.  Once your outfit is complete and you have on your shoes…..Do a small dance. Personally, I do a catwalk down the hallway (I actually do this down any hallway not matter where I am…LOL). It’s not hard. I feel like if you can feel “Extra” when you get ready to out and paint the town red then you can do it just to leave your house PERIOD! Pretend that everywhere you go is like a photo shoot or walking the red carpet.

I didn’t always feel this way about life.  I have always been a tad on the conceited side but there was still a negative air about me.  As most of you know I am going through a divorce. That for me was the ultimate hurt because I loved (and still do) my husband.  I know that we cannot go back to what was but, what I did find out is that I don’t have to be unhappy.  I decided at the beginning of the year that I wanted to be happy every day.  I desire to be happy all day, every day, if possible. Now don’t get me wrong there are some days that are a little harder than others but I put on a smile and ask myself “Why are you really sad?” Then I think of something to be happy about and roll with that.  I have even come to the point where I can be friends with my ex.  I know that we were really good friends before we got married and I missed that. So, because that part was still weighing on me I changed that negative into a positive and ask him to be my friend.  I know that some people may not approve but you know what…..whatever is going to get me to where I’m really suppose to be in life then that’s what I’m doing.  Since I asked him to be my friend I can feel that weight lifting.  I know that it will be some time before it’s all lifted but I’m not going to let past hurts dictate my future. I wake up smile get dresses, sing, dance, catwalk, and do things that make me happy. Now if I can find my happiness going through my storm why can’t you wake up with a smile? Turn your negative into a positive.

To help you on your journey take 2 index cards (you can use colored one for a jazzier effect) and on each card write the quotes below:

“Sometimes GOD places you in an unsavory situation in order to get you on the right path”

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to DANCE in the rain”

Once you have done that tape them to your bathroom mirror, at work, or wherever you spend a lot of time. Read it every day for motivation to start your day off in a positive way or to get back on track.

(Thanks Athena!)

Being positive brings nothing but positive things in return.  Don’t get me wrong people and things in life will try you daily but if you keep your cool and focus on the positive side of life then nothing but happiness will come your way.  I’m mainly writing this because I want to “1” pass on the happiness that I’m feeling and “2” I really want you all to be happy and I know that it is attainable.

Once you get use to the new you (because it takes a min) then you have to no longer fear lonely.

E