Good afternoon,
Have
you ever listened to a song but never let the words absorb into you mind. I
mean you know all of the words but the just never quite hit you? Well it’s
happen to me. I love this song “Hard Way” by Miguel. The chorus always moved me
but it hit me like a ton of bricks the other day.
You
know the saying, “A hard head makes a soft a$$”. That’s what this song is
about. I think that this saying was made for me. I am loyal to things and
people when I shouldn’t be. At some point I know that things are wrong but I
keep pushing…. thinking if I love more, work harder, ask the right questions,
be a better communicator, don’t get frustrated, be vulnerable, and be patient
things will work out. Seems like a good plan right? Well the problem lies when
I’m planning for something that is not for me. So…GOD sends me hints. I hear
them but I’m hoping that it works out for me. I grind harder. At some point do
get to a place where I see that nothing is working. I start to do something
else but I come back to it because I begin to think that maybe I gave up too
soon or it would be easier for me to work on this than to start over. I truly
believe there will be a reward for me in the end. GOD then sends me another
round of hints that this is not it. I can’t lie I probably ignore those…..smh
because I have a plan! I am determined to make this square peg fit into this
round hole. Finally GOD makes it hurt. HE pushes me out of the situation and I
am devastated because I just knew that I could make it work. No I can’t. That
is not GOD’s plan. I’m always praying for guidance and for GOD to keep showing
me the way. I obviously make it hard for HIM because I’m always off doing my
own thing. Just hard headed. Now how do I expect to receive my blessings when
I’m not at the place to receive them? If I would have just done what HE said in
the first place I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. I can’t even
blame people for being who they are…..They continuously showed me who they were
and I ignored it thinking that I could handle it. Well I can’t and GOD knows
this because it wasn’t mine in the first place. I don’t know what GOD’s plan is
right now but I have to let go so that I will be open and receptive to what HE
wants for me. My little heart has taken a licking this year and a lot of it is
due to my own decision making……BUT it’s ok. I got it now. This heartache too
shall pass. I’ll learn from this year and be better with each passing day.
Just
hate that I always have to learn the hard way…….
E
Learning the Hard Way...humm you can say that AGAIN!! If only I had followed my first instinct the MESSAGE that was shown to me in my dreams smh WOW. Now deing with the consequences of being HARD HEADED has slapped me so hard it feelz like I cant breath at times. My head hurts from thinking so much trging to make things right and comfortable for my kids and myself. Like K. Michelle says YOU CANT RAISE A MAN that song is MY song. She is speaking the truth and every word she says is so true smh I wish mg mama or daddy would've sat me down and talked to me about what to expecf in life, how to handle men but I had to learn the HARD WAY! #WOW
ReplyDeleteI was speaking with a friend yesterday and she said we are not hard headed. We were created to believe and be unshaken. You (and I) believed and were unshaken in that belief. The issue comes when GOD has something for us but we won't let go of what we believe. It's all a learning lesson and some things can't be taught.... you have to experience them. We have another chance to be better than we were yesterday so you (and I) have something to smile about. :-)
ReplyDeleteSound about right. I can understand that alot it makes sense humm never thought of it that way humm unshaken. Not letting go was my fault completely smh shouldve could've would've dang it I can just kick myself but I won't I think I've done enough of that. I am better today then I was yesterday. I had a hugh mental emotional breakdown that I needed to get out. It was building nd building nd I just busted loose smh I needed that tho. I have REMOVED myself from where I was but the fact that I had ti leave my kids (youngest) behind is killing me. Lord knows I didnt want to do it but I had too because as long as Im there doing everything in someone elses home (cleaning,cooking,washing) and not even that simple word THANK YOU or showing appreciation for all that I did/done I had had it and couldn't take no more. I was on the edge if losing it!! So I had to leave I HAD TOO...
ReplyDeleteI jumped way if course or did I (lol)
I get it. I also wanted to share that a couple of weeks ago the sermon at church was about "Spiritual Fatigue". I must have cried a river that day because it was soooooo on point. We are believers but we reach a point where we feel in "Bondage", "Burned Out", and on the verge or having a "Breakdown". I was like "Hey that's me!!!!!". It's ok to feel this way....but keep it in your mind not your spirit. The strongest people in the Bible had a hard road and were in pain and sad along the way but they came out on the other side victorious. GOD has not forgotten. We have to move out of the way (sometimes meaning leaving to be still) and let HIM work on it. So if you have to leave for a min to get out of GOD's way them leave. It will change...life always does.
ReplyDeleteyeah I had to leave its just day three and yesterday's was day two just thinking of my kids my sons football game not being able to make it to that is what really was hurting you know I miss my baby he's my heart missing his football game just like a blow because I never miss none of the games you know I'm always been a very supportive mother. but he understands I talk to my kids I'm very open with them so they all know I know they are just tired of seeing me down and cry being down nd out all the time. I try not to show it but they can see it and I can feel it
ReplyDeleteYep...and they need you well.
ReplyDelete