This is why you're single.....

Good morning,

I was speaking with someone last night about “communication”. They were saying that although communication is important not everyone can’t handle bring told things about themselves and that’s why people do not communicate. I asked, “If you feel that they will not be able to handle it then you just don’t say anything?” If I have done something that annoys or upsets you then how will I stop if you never say anything? So, you are just going to live in this unhappiness because you are afraid the other person will not be able to handle you telling them something they’ve done is bothering you? They said they probably would just not deal with that person anymore. O_O I replies, “So, that’s why you are single….” They didn’t care too much for that statement. I feel like if you do not attempt to communicate and rectify the situation then you will always end up in situation like this. Communication is so important. It’s how you begin to understand a person. Communication expresses love, wants, and needs. Even if you are not the most effective communicator, you should keep trying. Practice makes perfect…..or at least better. With communication, you have to be careful how you approach people with it. If you come at person with the wrong words or tone then it is possible that you will drive them away or at least activate their defenses. When you make mistakes like this then you should attempt to reach out to make them understand where you were coming from. You should always communicate with a solution orientated goal. When I was married we went to this couples retreat. We had activity called “Knee to Knee”. (I believe I talked about this in another post)  You sit face to face and take turns talking with the other person repeating what you said to make sure they heard and understood you. This way no one has to assume the meaning of anything. I LOVE IT! I’m not into to drama so I always want to talk it out and move on. I attempt to be an effective communicator. I’m not perfect so I do make mistakes. It doesn’t mean that I will stop trying. I detest having to assume. We never assume in the positive thus potentially making a mountain out of an anthill. Now with that being said…… you will cross paths with people that decide that they have no desire to communicate with you. It can be an unfavorable situation. You want to clear some things but it seems that they have no desire to hear it. You have put forth the effort and still nothing. Well what do you do? You stop. Attempting to communicate with someone that is not receptive is like walking over to a wall and trying to make it understand your point of view. That dog just won’t hunt. This doesn’t mean that all people are the same and you should just give up trying altogether. The truth is if there are people that do not communicate you don’t want to be with them anyway. If they don’t try now then they won’t try later. Communication works for those who work at it.

Attempt to resolve some issues today using positive communication.

AND remember assumptions are the termites of relationships. Don’t just say something……Say SOMETHING. (Thanks APG)

MAKE IT GREAT!

E